Here’s a double bill as ill conceived as Beethoven followed by Cujo: beige debris with a side portion of pinkened wallpaper paste.

Marvel at the top photograph which depicts a lonely Yorkshire pudding enthusiast  performing a one person food show in front of a voyeuristic trio of terrifying gnome dolls. 

Take it from me, you have to be at a pretty low point in your life to want to parade your culinary inadequacies in front of an audience while they watch you from behind a distorted frame.

As a teenager I once witnessed a very similar sight on holiday in Amsterdam whilst stumbling back to my youth hostel. 

The seedy gnomes on that occasion were some portly, tonsured, businessmen and the dead eyed diner wasn’t eating the sunken remains of a roast dinner, but rather something far less appealing to my drug addled senses.

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