Dimly Lit Meals for One is becoming a book!
Seriously, it’s like we’re living parallel lives.
If you were wondering why I hadn’t got around to publishing your submission yet, well, it’s probably because I’d like it to go in the book.
I’m aiming for it to be all new material, bigger, sadder, and even more dimly lit than ever before.
I’m confident it will sell more copies than Dianetics and be even more depressing than Jude the Obscure.
If you’d like to contribute please send pictures/stories to email@example.com
I’d also like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has shared their sad solitary meals over the last few months!
”While all my other college-bound friends are spending their summers abroad and enjoying expensive dinners with wines and at least three courses, I’m stuck at home trying to complete my internship while coping with loneliness… and crappy dinners.
Here’s my dinner of spinach noodles (which aren’t even made of spinach) and a ham-and-cheese omelette.”
Nope, I checked, it’s not a quote from
shit HBO show Girls but rather a genuine message from a young person interning in omelettes.
Interns, or ‘meat puppets’ as they’re called where I work, serve a valuable function providing unpaid labour to companies which could easily afford to remunerate them.
I would kill to be able to make an omelette with that much structural integrity, and to be young again, with career prospects, and friends.
Your faux spinach noodle sob stories earn no sympathy from this cold cold heart I’m afraid.